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Thursday, September 21, 2006

"Jewish, Whatever is a Jewish?"

My father always said this with a hint of a proper British accent, though it's probably funnier with a Southern drawl. Note to gentiles: You are most likely not allowed to say this sort of thing. Please consult woodyallen.com for more information.

So it seems that every Christian I know seems to know several (so called) Messianic Jews. I am perplexed, because this website tells me that there are only 20,000 or 30,000 Messianic Jews worldwide. I am also perplexed because Messianic Jews are supposed to be celebrating the Sabbath on the Sabbath, at least according to this site. So where are these Christians meeting all these Messianic Jews? In church? On Sunday? Wouldn't that just make them Christians? I have only met a few Messianic Jews (usually the crazy uncle at a Sukkot party, or something), and they have all insisted that they are indeed Jewish.

So what makes one Jewish? Are we both a race and a religion? Jewish law says that if your mother is Jewish, then so are you. But you can convert to Judaism...the Bible is full of Jewish converts, from Abraham on down. There are no races (of which I am aware) that you can convert into. Can you convert to Messianic Judaism? Evidently, not unless you are Jewish.

My test has always been: If you have a Christmas tree, you are not Jewish. I probably have some cousins who would disagree with me on this one.

Messianic Jews (or Jews for Jesus as you are more commonly known): I would hazard a guess that a lot of you probably do not have Christmas trees. You are still not Jewish...just as a Christian who follows the teachings of Mohammed is no longer a Christian.

3 comments:

Tana said...

Micheal, I cannot even spell Messianic, let alone know one.

I don't have Christmas trees. Oh wait, I'm not a Christian either.

I have recently been enjoying every episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" on DVD. Is it o.k. to admit that?

Michael Lasko said...

Please watch Fiddler on the Roof twice, then you are Jewish.

Anonymous said...

I could barely sit through it (Fiddler on the Roof) once. I can see that Jewish people are very patient and like to torture themselves.