Please donate to the elective surgery fund.

I finally broke down and scheduled my Lasik procedure. I have approximately four weeks to come up with $4500.

Unfortunately, my Lasik surgeon is also a plastic surgeon...I'm not sure where he finds the time while still managing to perform 15,000 Lasik procedures. After I have perfect vision, he says I will be wanting him to smooth out my skin...I suppose I should have been insulted. We did not discuss how much this procedure would cost.

So I'm at the dentist yesterday, and while I'm telling my dentist (an avid cyclist) about the time I met Greg Lemond, I get to thinking: Greg Lemond has much whiter teeth than me. Worse, my teeth are going to look extra off-white when I have perfect vision. Not to worry, white teeth can me mine for a mere $500. I have the world's most expensive dentist.