Moving to New Zealand (In 5 easy steps)

1) Be under the age of 56. Sorry, if you don't have at least 10 years in you before retirement, New Zealand does not want you. [There are some exceptions if you are bringing more than 2.5 million kiwibucks into the country. If you have 2.5 million kiwibucks, you can probably find a better place to retire.]

2) Be in perfect health. If the New Zealand government thinks you will be costing them more than 20,000 kiwibucks over the next 4 years, they will not let you in. [If you have any chronic condition, the 20,000 dollar limit extends to the end of your life.]

3) Speak perfect English. Those of you who can read this blog would find that the Kiwi do not care where you are from, or what you look like, though political correctness has not caught on there yet; however, they have little patience for those who have not mastered their language.

4) Be of high upstanding moral character. If you are from the US, this means the FBI must provide evidence that you have no criminal record. [Getting the FBI to admit to this can be extremely difficult.]

5) Possess a skill that the New Zealand government desires. Pharmacists and teachers are both in short supply in New Zealand. I found out pretty late in the process that the pharmacist shortage is due to the minuscule salaries in New Zealand. So meager that most go to Australia to earn their fortunes. [You are unlikely to hear about the Laskos hopping the ditch because a) I could make a whole lot more in the US and b) I am afraid of deadly spiders, deadly jellyfish, deadly alligators, and kangaroos.]